Archive for 70s

The Apollo Exerciser

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 7, 2012 by Mike Rankin

Now that we have curbside pickup of recyclables, I don’t make it to the Take It or Leave It room at the town recycling center any more. On the upside, the house is less cluttered with worthless old junk. On the downside, well, I like worthless old junk.

Anyway, on a recent trek to the RC, I picked up a box containing some Space Age exercise equipment, the Apollo Exerciser. I picked it up because I’m a sucker for 70s stuff, space stuff, and cheesy stuff. So, there was no way in hell I could resist cheesy 70s space stuff.

The exerciser came in a kit that consisted of an 8-inch metal cylinder housing some springs that you attached ropes and pulleys to.

According to the instruction booklet, the metal cylinder (dramatically referred to only as “The Apollo”), was “a superbly engineered exercise instrument that had over two and one half years of research before its completion.”

It was also trumpeted as “the most efficient piece of equipment to carry out the total isokinetic principle of exercise in the world today!”

So efficient, in fact, you could get a great workout while wearing your white leather dress shoes. While tied to a door.

And the Apollo worked just as well for the ladies too. Keep running, sweetie. Eventually that door frame will give way.

And of course, the kids could get in on the fun too. It sure is fun, right kids? Kids?

It makes me think that in the late 60s early 70s, every American company would slap a red, white, and blue rocket on any product to help sales. I’m surprised they didn’t tie the family dog to the thing so it could walk itself.

Anyway, I’ve already tossed the Apollo itself, but the brochure was pretty hilarious, so here it is in full for your enjoyment (PDF).

ApolloExerciser

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Vinyl From the Edge of Oblivion

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2009 by Mike Rankin

Every Saturday the kids and I load up the car with our bottles, cans, paper, etc and head to the town recycling center. We don’t have curbside pick up. One incentive for doing this chore (besides not bequeathing a world of trash to my kids), is visiting the Take It Or Leave It room. People bring stuff they no longer want; stuff too go for the dump, and not good enough to sell. Occasionally, I come across a pile of vinyl LPs that someone left. 99% are pretty junky. 100% I will never listen to, since my turntable isn’t even hooked up. But I grab a lot of them anyway, just for the album covers. Here are some of my recent scores. Sorry the quality of the photos isn’t top notch. I was too lazy to set up the tripod, fix the lighting, etc.

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I dig the retro lettering, but Mel forgot to set his drop shadow to overprint.

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I just like the word “Zugspitze.” It’s actually the tallest moutain in Germany.

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Has anyone seen the keys to my Star Galleon?

The back cover is the real treat. I wonder what ever became of Boogie Bonds.

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I have no idea who the Tweeds were, but apparently, they had little use for pants.

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Only MISS Diana Ross gets to wear her hat at a non-goofy angle.

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Sly and the Family Scallop

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Honey, I spent 12 hours cleaning every inch of this house today, so hand over the martini, or I’m getting medieval on your ass.

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These people dance amazingly well for having no faces. Note the great grandfather of the mullet.

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Oh Ella! You deserved better. It looks like they cut your silo with a spoon.

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Then again, it also looks like you just ate a raw cow.

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The last photo of Donnie and Marie, just before they were pulverized by an avalanche of giant mutant coconuts. Only their teeth remained.

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Disco-fied = ruptured achilles tendon. Hope it was worth it.

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The obligatory Herb Alpert. Someone ought to do a “where is she now?” thing. I imagine her as a little old lady stuck in pile of gray, dried up whipped cream.

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A pair from the Cos.

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Hey B.B., guess who stole your wallet and shoes?!

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This is one of my favorites, because I love the design, and the cover has that awesome cutout so you can see thru to this…

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50 guitars go south of the border, but only 15 live to tell the tale. I think they’re all drunk on tequila. Check out the one in the back looking for a cactus to go barf behind.

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Daddy, what were the 80’s like?

Well, son, Reagan was president, and he made a law that everyone had to wear a mullet. We all did so much cocaine that we could watch little movies on our torsos, which showed our inner most secrets. Oh, and electric outlets all glowed with demonic rage.

brainpile-grace-close

This cosmic torso-llucination is worth a closer look. Let’s see if we can parse what’s going on here…

Blender of blood, bleeding. Check.

Aerial shot of boat loaded with cocaine, speeding from Coast Guard. Check.

Space shuttle blasting off with a fuel of liquid oxygen and cocaine. Check.

Corded telephone lying on the floor, probably after the user OD’d on cocaine. Check.

Patient undergoing anaesthesia. Yup.

Vector art of Earth…reversed! Whoa, I am ready for rehab.

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On the back cover, Grace is about boot up her Commode64 with a copy of AngryMullet 1.0. Or she’s putting it in an incinerator. We can only hope.

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Last but not least, the liner vinyl talking points. Please commit them to memory. And thanks for listening.